3/13/20 JOURNAL NOTE
As I woke up this morning in my attempt to handle or look at all of the things that I need to accomplish. I got a bit discouraged because I feel like there’s so many things that I’m supposed to be doing. So many things that I start and have not been able to finish. Then God began to speak to me and what he said shocked even me….
He said that his definition and idea of success is very different from mine. In fact, if I really understood His definition then I would see myself as very successful. Because in my attempt to please Him accomplishment is everything to me. So when I don’t accomplish, when I don’t finish, I feel like a failure. But what He explained to me is that right now as I’m sitting playing with the puppy, (well not wanting to play with the puppy, but having to play with the puppy because a puppy is a puppy and a puppy has a lot of energy that needs to be exerted).
So as I play with the puppy God began to speak to me and say, “Queen even what you’re doing right now, in My mind is considered success. Because I told you to get the puppy, you thought it wasn’t a good time but you did it anyway because I told you to do it. You see, my ideal of success is OBEDIENCE. So, right now, as you sit and play with the puppy, which seems to be very mundane or not accomplishing anything you really are accomplishing everything.
Because, to Me success is not in the finalities or the finish product of things. Success is the moment you obey Me. Did I not say I am a rewarder of those who diligently seek Me? Those who obey Me, those who walk by faith, please Me. Your faith has pleased Me. In fact, every animal on this ranch, you got it because I told you to. I showed you what to get and you got it. I lead you every step of the way and here we are. So every time you take care of one of your animals. Every time you feed them. Every time you take care of their needs, it’s Me Queen; that is success.
You believed Me for a ranch, why, because I put that desire in your heart from a young girl. Then you believed Me for horses, why, because I put that desire in your heart too. You think it was you but it wasn’t, it was Me.
And let me tell you why I did it. Because as your Father I absolutely love seeing you happy but you don’t understand that. You think all I want to do is snap my finger and watch you work, work, work and produce. You don’t understand that I am not only God, I am your Father and as a father I am like any other good parent, but better. As a matter of fact, I am not like them they are like Me. Because, if you being evil or unlearned know how to give good gifts to your children how much more do I know how to bless mine. So, if being good to your children pleases you it also pleases Me.
You once told Me that the most enjoyable thing you love to experience is hearing your children laugh. Rather you are in the same room with them or not. Just hearing them laughing brings you joy. Queen that brings you peace hearing your children laugh. Where do you think you got that from? I love watching you ride your horses, I love watching you happy. I love watching you play with the puppy. As a matter of fact that’s worship to Me, why, because you obeyed Me. Every act of obedience is like worship to me. Not just what you accomplish. Not just what you produce. I am not a hard task master that only wants something from you. I created mankind for fellowship, so when you laugh, when you play with the puppy when you watch your animals play and when you are pleased and at peace. When you ride your horses, especially since you had to overcome so much fear to do it. Horsemanship brought you to yet another level in trusting me, that, my Queen was by design. So rather you ride them or just play with them and walk around with them Queen that makes Me happy.
What makes me sad is when you don’t enjoy your life or when you take Me out of My character and think that all I want you to do is to produce for Me, no that is not all I want from you. So, release yourself from that mindset and just continue to obey. Even now as you’re writing this from Me because I’m going to have you share it, because the truth is that I feel like this about all of My children. And the enemy’s goal is to keep you strapped down. To keep you fearful or feeling like you are not producing or successful. But Jesus came, died and rose again to give you life more abundantly. Zoe, effervescent, ever-flowing, God kind of life. And that life is joyful, that life has peace, that life is fun, that’s what Jesus died for. I created you so I could have fellowship with you in that kind of life, because I love to hear My children laugh too. I love it just like you love it. So don’t, please don’t take that away from Me. Laugh, enjoy life, trust Me. Fear is not of Me. I will take care of you just like I always have. Continue to obey because, you see, your obedience is success to Me.
I love you…God